One of our main objectives is to promote best practice in child bereavement support in Singapore.

It would be hard to think of anything more terrible, more tragic, than the death of your own child. It is too shocking to imagine. Those of us for whom it is a reality know that the memory stays with you always, and so each person we encounter on our journey through bereavement can have a profound effect on how we cope.

The importance of the role that healthcare professionals play, guiding bereaved parents through the experience, is immeasurable.

We are working with the professional community here to encourage a more compassionate and understanding approach. Bereaved parents who have experienced varying levels of support and compassion from the healthcare community and other professionals encountered during bereavement know only too well what a difference a caring professional can make.

Where for whatever reason parents have not been dealt with appropriately, an already terrible situation has been made even worse.  Sadly there are many families who have had unfortunate experiences with professionals in Singapore; doctors and nurses not taking time to explain things to us, rushing us along to pay our bill, not dealing respectfully with our child, telling us not to cry, casket sellers thrusting their business cards under our noses.

Each of these insensitivities will never be forgotten, adding another level of bitterness to the pain of the loss of our child.
And yet, where parents have been comforted by the helping hand of a compassionate, sensitive, caring individual, these positive experiences have shone out like a beacon of hope in the midst of the awful darkness.

As one bereaved parent, Sonya Szpojnarowicz, remembers:

‘I know that I will never forget the kindness of one particular man, the forensic pathologist who carried out my son Max’s autopsy. He stepped forward to help when he realized that we were becoming more upset due to the behaviour of the police officer and staff at the mortuary – he took the time to say, “I’m so sorry”, and he gently, kindly, calmly helped to explain the procedures to us so that we didn’t feel so lost and confused.  He took the time to discuss his various autopsy findings with us, dealing patiently and helpfully with our questions, over many phone conversations and emails.  Then a year later when he happened to see mention of our family in the newspaper in a story about a memorial bench we had planned at the Zoo, and the piece related that I was pregnant, he took the trouble to write to congratulate us. His kindness, thoughtfulness – his humanity – have been such a comfort to me.’

Through our support network we are sharing our experiences and our ideas and we are bringing the voices of these bereaved parents into the professional community so that doctors, nurses, mortuary staff, police officers, undertakers and other professionals who interact with bereaved families can hear first hand what it is that we really want and need in our hour of most desperate sorrow.

Often reaching the right person in such organisations is key to facilitating our work in advocating best practice in bereavement support amongst professionals.  Should you know of anyone in any relevant organisation who could help us, we would appreciate your introduction. Please email us.

Training
We have run training courses (talks, presentations and workshops) for healthcare professionals, led by Founder and President of The Child Bereavement Trust in the UK, Ms Jenni Thomas. These were held at KK Hospital in April 2004 and April 2005. In March 2006 we extended this to NUH and Thomson Medical Centre, as well as running more sessions at KKH.

We also work with several hospitals on a more individual basis, where bereaved parents work with healthcare professionals to help foster a deeper understanding of the special needs of families when a child dies, and to assist in particularly difficult situations.

We also have run training sessions with the Singapore Police Force, and plan to run more of these in the future.

For further information about educational seminars, training programmes and scholarships please email us.